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Bits and Pieces From Your Newsletters

“The trouble is that when you are a class act the climb further is increasingly difficult and the fall too easy. We need more of you to commit your help to maintain this quality of product, as actors and technicians”. (from Scene, the Newsletter for Leicester Little Theatre)

“As part of our health and safety procedures we have for many years provided hard hats, safety glasses and face masks in the workshop and on stage and I propose to purchase general purpose gloves as well. I would remind those of you working on set construction or maintenance of the need to don appropriate protective items – hats, gloves, robust boots/shoes etc – depending on the nature of the work and the potential risks to your person. Let’s keep the accident book empty!” (from the Chairman’s comments in Prompt Corner, the Newsletter for Abbey Theatre, St Albans)

“Rumours of trouble in the editorial offices of Cliche House are strongly denied by the editor. They arose following a report by the Theatre Company’s Treasurer to the AGM that the cost of producing your favourite rag had gone down by £300 since last year, leading to the suggestion that this was because staff had been sacked and that the editor’s salary had been cut. In a strongly-worded riposte, the editor denied that there had been any reduction of staff.

At an earlier meeting with representatives of the workforce, including split infinitive inspectors, gerund operatives, adjective polishers, personal pronoun selectors, subjunctive clause programmers and the hackneyed phrase team, he assured them that their working conditions would never change. After the meeting, the staff passed a vote of no confidence and went down to the pub.

At the same time, a request for a salary review from Miss Posy Poppet was rejected, the editor being of the view that Miss Poppet already had a body of assets that would guarantee her a lavish income for years to come. On the subject of his own salary, the editor said: I would like our readers to know that I have never, nor would I.” (Editorial comment from On Stage, the Newsletter for The Miller Centre Theatre)

“Thank you to the few that turned up to help clear out the cellar and fill up the skip. It’s amazing how much we’ve accumulated and how many memories of plays gone by get buried down there. We managed to fill the skip to the brim and as we’re only half way through sorting everything out we will be needing another skip before we are all done – I can’t wait to see what our cellar really looks like underneath!” (from the Chairman’s comments in the Newsletter for Carlisle Green Room Club). (As the West Walls Theatre is, as the name says, built on top of Carlisle’s mediaeval city walls, the cellar at the base of the city wall may even go back to Roman foundations! – perhaps making this the oldest piece of theatre real estate in the country).

“Huge progress has been made in dealing with the moths. The wardrobe has been emptied and sprayed so clothes are being cleaned and returned. The next deadline is to empty the two dressing rooms by mid December so they can be sprayed.” (from the Chairman’s comments in News and Views, the Newsletter for Nomad Theatre, East Horsley)

“From now on you will be welcome to take your drinks into the auditorium in a plastic glass, but can we please ask that you return the empties to the bar. Please do not leave them in the auditorium. The committee will monitor the progress of the experiment to address fears that there are bound to be spillages making it harder for the cleaners to maintain the standard of cleanliness that our members expect.” (from the Chairman’s comments in Oast Notes, the Newsletter for Oast Theatre, Tonbridge)

“Around 85 members still receive Prompt Corner in paper form. Of the remainder who receive it by email, some print it out because that’s how they like to read it. Many read it (or at least some of it) on the screen. Others, it would appear, never open it at all! Any suggestions for making it essential reading in any format?” (Another extract from the Newsletter for Abbey Theatre, St Albans)

“The Tuesday after the end of a show is the day when the stage crews work on the next production, erecting the flats according to the plan drawn up by the designer. It is at this stage that changes to the set can be made – as often happens when the three-dimension set does not quite deliver what the paper plan asked for. But that is the set change deadline. Directors, designers, painters and anyone else connected to the production are invited to look at the set on that day and call for changes if they are deemed necessary. Where possible these will be done on the spot. But this is your make-up-your-mind time. After that day, no changes to the structure of the set.” (from On Stage, the Newsletter for the Miller Centre Theatre)

“Please be aware that we store your personal data securely, but we do not store credit/debit card details. We use your personal data to send you emails and newsletters. We do not, and will not share your personal data with any third parties (except TicketSource).” (from the Newsletter for Archway Theatre, Horley)